Quadeca - Ego Death

[Intro]
I know I got a ego
Must be something in my brain
If I didn’t, I’d probably go insane
I’m sorry I’m an asshole
That’s just how the raps go
Sorry that I do this shit everyday

[Chorus]
What? Yeah, I’m on my ego death
I had to reassess
I had to resurrect, yeah, huh, hey huh
I just wanna be the best
But I had to reassess
Is that why I’m feeling less?

[Verse 1]
Yeah, huh, my songs are bipolar like Ye, huh
They think they controlling my fate, uh (Ooh, yeah)
Cut all the chatter, no, y'all are not rappers
You just some ad-libbers like "aye," huh (For real)
I just pulled up, back in black
Drop a hit, they react to that (Oou, huh)
Now they see this and they acting mad (yeah)
Like I’m Kanye in a MAGA hat, yeah
I’m so alone, see, I’ve always been one and only
Even back when this gold chain was made out of macaroni
Now they always askin' me, what happened to the old me?
I wish I could’ve told him goodbye, wish he had known me (Yeah)
Wish that I could tell you 'bout how everyone would know you (Uh-huh)
And tell you it’s worth it, despite everything they told you
Cryin' silent in your pillow sayin' “I wish I was home-schooled” (yeah)
Too afraid to sing your songs because you thought that they would roast you, yeah
I was nine
Friends told me I would go lose (They did)
Now it’s time
I think I gotta show you (Think I gotta show you)
That’s my mind
Say I don’t care but I so do
Having trouble walkin' up a mile in my own shoes
Never used to bet on me and now they like “I owe you”
Lookin' back at them like “The fuck? I do not know you”
When I make a milli', muh'fucker, I'ma show you
What I had to go through to feel like I’m supposed to

[Bridge]
Ego, I don’t need no other people in my trio
Myself, I and me though
We know, we don't need no kilos, my watch frio, yeah

[Chorus]
I’m on my ego death
But I let it breathe again
Yeah, I let it resurrect
Yeah, uh (Yeah)
I just wanna be the best
But I had to reassess
Is that why I’m feelin' less? Yeah (Yeah)

[Verse 2]
On the way, all okay, only a call away
Feeling like a God on my Charlemagne (Huh)
I really think they want my presence like a holiday (Yeah)
But I think I need to learn when to walk away (I do)
Man I got so many problems but I wanna stay
Without acknowledging how often I have gone astray (Yeah)
First step is denial, but I’m over that
And I’ve accepted it already but it holds me back, yeah
Back, yeah
Slurring my words I been moving too fast, yeah, (Okay)
Fast, yeah
Maybe I don’t wanna share it like that, yeah
That’s facts, yeah
I need to stop checking all of the stats, like that, like that, yeah, ayy (Yeah)

[Chorus]
I’m on my ego death
I had to reassess
I had to resurrect, yeah, huh, hey, huh
I just wanna be the best
But I had to reassess
Is that why I’m feelin' less?
Yeah

[Bridge 2]
I got 40,000 comments this week
At least 5,000 said that I should kill myself, I’m a freak, I’m too weak
I'm a leech
And all my music fuckin' sucks, I’m a geek
I’m everythin' they want me to be and that’s the problem with me
So when they say you got a ego, tell em thank the fuckin' lord
Cause if you didn’t you’d be suffering
You’d be stuck there on the floor with nothin' more
At least I’m out here smilin' in the quicksand
Take your head out of that pillow, one day you gon' be the big man, yeah

[Outro]
In the dark
I stare into mirrors for hours
Until I can’t recognize myself
A dissonant reflection
Both a sober and a sobering hallucination