Dave Brockie Experience - The Chinese Have No Cheese

[Intro]
I walk in a Chinese restaurant and can't get cheese
They ask me to order something else please
But this is America
I demand my cheese
In a Chinese restaurant, I do as I please

[Chorus]
The Chinese eat no cheese
They think we smell like shit
Everybody must have cheese
Still the Chinese don't believe
[Verse 1]
So I took my problem and I went overseas
To the land of the giant jingo-Japanese
But I couldn't get enough ice in my Coke
My world fell apart!

[Chorus]
The Chinese eat no cheese
They think we smell like shit
Why the hell won't they eat our cheese?
I challenge 10,000 centuries

[Verse 2]
So I took my problem and I went to Mars
I stumbled round the crummy downtown bars
But I couldn't get enough dicks in my butt
My ass fell apart!

[Chorus]
The Chinese eat no cheese
They think we smell like shit
Why the hell won't they eat our cheese?
I challenge 10,000 centuries

[Bridge]
Well I walk into a Chinese restaurant and order a lamb
Prepared in a way that is dear to the folk of Iran
I begged and pleaded, my entreaty went unheeded
My mission, it took place in a pan
The cheese of the Jesus, it deforms the fetus
The turd of a western man

[Chorus]
The Chinese eat no cheese
They think we smell like shit
Everybody must have cheese
Still the Chinese won't believe

The Chinese have no cheese
The Chinese have no cheese
The Chinese have no cheese
The Chinese have no cheese

They're inscrutable
They're unstoppable
Nice complexions
Pimples not poppable

[Spoken]
But what about Crab Rangoon?
(Oh yeah, crab rangoon)
It's got cheese in it
Got cheese
(Crab Rangoon, it got cheese)