For Esmé - Doubtmouth

Well I almost choked on all the doubt
As the words were trying to leave my mouth
I was taught to be polite.
Lately it seems
That’s just another word for keeping quiet
Feels a little one sided
Though I’m always trying to deny it.

And I can’t subsist on swallowed pride
Living half out loud, feeling half alive
Can’t exist alone in my mind
With my head nodding
And my mouth just smiling.

Too tired to tiptoe between
Too much this and too much that tonight
Too bright a light
To be dimming myself down for you.

Well I couldn’t keep my anger down
And I watched as I lost all my ground
I thought passion was a virtue
But it seems like that’s only true if its coming from you.

And I can’t subsist on swallowed pride
Living half out loud feeling half alive
Can’t exist alone in my mind
With my head nodding
And my mouth just smiling.

Too tired to tiptoe between
Too much this and too much that tonight
Too bright a light
To be dimming myself down for you
Too tired to tiptoe between
Being nice and being right tonight
To bright a bitch to be dumbing myself down for you.

He said it sounds like you’ve got something to prove’
And I said maybe
Maybe baby I do
Maybe baby I do
Maybe baby I can’t subsist on swallowed pride
Living half out loud feeling half alive
Can’t exist alone in my mind
With my head nodding
And my mouth just smiling.