Tungsten - A View from the Outside

No Easter baskets, no Christmas cards
Like an orphan, left in the cold
Praised for feats, not who I am
More conditions in the art of pain

You took away what I am
You took away what I do
Help me forget all this shit
Unwanted from the day I was born
This home, it crumbles inside

A handless touch, that's left a scar
These walls bleed my pain

The family grows, the circle turns
Don’t you do this to my child
I can’t repeat the steps that have brought me here

I close my eyes and receive new impressions
On what life should be
Forcing me to accept humiliation
And my uncertainty

I wish I had a view from the outside
Distorted picture that I see clear
View from the outside
The steady path that I will reach
View for the outside
Frustration leaves me empty...inside

The enigma of this man is peeled away
To reveal a loveless childhood
That has followed me to adulthood

A frown has been ripped in me
No suture can fix what is done
But my guide to happiness
Is restricted exposure to you
You are deep, superficially
This destroys my peace of mind
What traits will I inherit from you?
I didn’t ask for it, in the first place!

There’ll come a day, when I look to the mirror
And become now what I hate, until that day comes
I’m working to change my fate