Waldek Pawlukiewicz - Agent J-23

(Come on, Hans, don't make me laugh)

(Agent J-23)

Negro, Arab, Chineese, Russki,
Latino, or Indian,
No matter skin colour,
Foreign language, or belief

(Agent J-23)
(Janek reporting)

Continents, cities, villages
One thing is known in advance:
Everybody is stuck in problems
Of similar nature

(Janek reporting)
(Agent J-23)

Some have big bucks,
Others - moan with their dole,
But everyone, somehow,
Is being - slap! - spanked by life

(Agent J-23)
(Janek reporting)

You will always find someone near,
Who manhandles You day by day
Even if You don't want, You have
Your own Brunner guaranteed

(Mmm Brunner... He's a skunk*)
(Hauptsturmfuehrer Brunner)

Hauptsturmfuehrer Brunner
Lurking, waiting, skulking like a wasp.
You want help? Call him immediately,
Captain Hans Kloss

(That Kloss...)
(Mister Brunner...)

Others have their Superman,
Batman, fighting against all evil,
Spiderman, wearing his net,
Alike people wear suspenders

(Do You understand?)
(Oberleutnant Kloss)

James Bond, agent number one,
Has state-of-the-art equipment
You have Kloss the Captain,
That will come to the rescue

(Kloss... Kloss...)
(Oberleutnant Kloss)

Dude not paying back the debt
Whining something about bankruptcy,
Call Janek, go on, don't hesitate,
He will catch him and beat the sh... poo out of him

(Kloss... Kloss...)

(Mmm Brunner)
FBI, CIA, Seventeen Moments of Spring
(Mmm Brunner)
Stirlitz, Szarik - are not enough, Kloss is so priceless agent
(Mmm Brunner)
Secret Service, Office of State Protection, KGB; it's all freaking confusing
There's no point in proving, who's the best in the world

(Sieg Heil!)

(Oberleutnant Kloss)
Neighbor snitched on You to a revenue service
Told, where You got cash for Your Hyundai from
(Oberleutnant Kloss)
Kloss explains it to him patiently,
If it won't help - he'll rip his bal... hair off

(Hey, Kloss!)
(Oberleutnant Kloss)
Boss molesting Your wife,
Poor woman is in distress,
(Oberleutnant Kloss)
It makes Your hair standing,
Kloss will show up and fu... tell him

(Hey, Kloss!)
(Oberleutnant Kloss)
This is our tireless agent,
Until someone needs him
(Oberleutnant Kloss)
Capitalism - here we go,
He will privatise Poland for us

(Hej, Kloss!)
(Oberleutnant Kloss)
Hans will protect us against the enemy,
Cause he won't let anyone hurt Pole
(Oberleutnant Kloss)
No mater; priest, politician,
Peasant, punk, or skinhead

(Hej, Kloss!)
(Oberleutnant Kloss)
Life goes on, moves forward
Although You don't give a fu... freak,
But remember: it's a fight
For Stakes Larger Than Life!

(Why are You so moody, Hans?)



*To oczywiście oznacza skunksa, ale w krajach anglojęzycznych jest również wyzwiskiem używanym w podobnym kontekście