Hank Green - My Phone

I didn't think it was for real
or it could be such a big deal
that this hunk of silicon could save my life

but now I've seen what it can do
and all that we've been through
I wrote this song all about why

It can do anything
it can even help me sing
And, yes, it helped me find my soulmate

it can be a light saber
or help me find out if my neighbor
Is a registered sex offender in my state

been bitten by a vampire bat
yeah, there's an app for that

been deployed into heavy combat
there's an app for that

In a fight with yassar arafat
well there's an app for that

Have you heard about my phone
My phone's so sweet
my phone owns your phone
I'm so freakin' leet
One thing you gotta understand
my phone it holds my hand
I don't think you could comprehend how
I don't even need a girlfriend now
'cause my phone does everything

If I put it in my pants
suddenly, I can dance
and the ladies flock to me on the dance floor

And the one that I take home
invariably loves my phone
Too bad there's not an app for birth control

Are you bored at the laundromat
well there's an app for that

Feeling like you've gotten fat
well there's an app for that

Forgetting when to feed your cat
well there's an app for that

My finance application
says I deserve a vacation
and it solved the crisis in greece

Stevie jobs knows what he's doin
in my opinion he's a shoe-in
for the twenty ten nobel price for peace

Learning how to knit a hat
well there's an app for that

You wife just gave birth to a cat
I think there's an app for that

Want to call your mom and chat...
well...service is pretty spotty out here, I'll call her when I get into town...