Malombra - Mortal Despise Song

alone he came to his decision
sore tears stiffening his cheeks
as headlamps flicked the ceiling with white duster
and darkness roared downhill with nervous brakes
below the murmuring and laughter,
the female-smelling jokes
and then his misery and anger
sharp suddenly became:
"I wish that I was dead - oh they will be sorry then -
I hate them and I'll kill myself today -
I want to die - I hate them - I hate them - I hate them -
I hate them and above I hate myself"
and killed itself in fact
but not that day as he had decided,
the deed itself for years deterred
occurred a wintry night when he was loaded.
Belching with scotch and misery he turned
The gas tap and placed his head
Gently like a pudding in the oven
"I want to die I'll hurt them yet" he said,
and once again.
"tomorrow I'll be dead - oh, they will be sorry then -
I hate them - I'll make they cry today!
I want to die - I hate them - I hate them - I hate them
I hate them and above I hate myself
lampless darkness roared inside his head
then sighed into a silence in which played
the grown-up voices, now, still up late
indifferent to his rage as to his fate