Me Versus I - So this is what it feels like

this is the moment, anxiety has taken over me
to the point where I feel nothing
oh, I hope this doesn't hurt
and god if you're really there please just make it fast
and please do not judge me if I've walked a different path
and if my brother is next to you tell him I'm on my way
I hope he knows I think about him almost every day
and grandpa died when I was young, I didn't know him well
but I would like to see him one last time before I go to hell
because I'm not sure where I'll go, my vision is just a blur
and mom I'm sorry I failed you but don't bury me in the earth
just burn me in a box and scatter my ashes at sea
so I may know what it feels like to finally be at peace
because I'll have this body no more, all I'll have have left are memories
of growing up, and growing old, and falling in love (oh god, my love!)
everything goes from black to white as I'm floating towards the sky
so this is what it feels like
this is what it feels like to die