Scallops Hotel - Xergiok's Chagrin (A Song For Jib)

dark times ingratiate.
i scream hello binge
everything is yellow-tinged
i guess the dream has jaundiced
passed out, red in face
just to see who could scream the longest
found the secret answer
only to learn it wasn't what i really wanted
now my head hurts and
i don't know the password
i rooted my fingers in dead dirt
to catch the last worms
the legion of shark-faced men
with their daggers out
couldn't approach the speeding zen
of the blabbermouth
i listened to that folk band
learned the chords to "old man"
bought pounds of fair trade coffee
in lieu of roast ham
built a secure fortress around
all my insecurities
and bought a brita filter
to strip water of impurities

i scrub my palms of hot cheeto dust
i sang the ordination song for vito on the bus

grow a neck beard
just to shave it off again
try harder to fit in with
my girlfriend's friends
i need a restroom break
an excuse to sit on a dirty toilet
listening to neptune estate

fuck those white girls
with indian headdresses
i been restless but never reckless
while all my friends got drunk,
i flipped poems for
to buy hot lunch
now my belly stays round
i know i barely been around

*burp*

i scrub my palms of hot cheeto dust
i sang the ordination song for vito on the bus

draped in hong kong polyester
sang the wrong songs among
the throngs of court jesters
i scribbled words on the walls
of my mother's house
post-it note aesthetics in lieu of
breadcrumbs trailed about
then my tongue deepened
but first, my voice cracked
i had a banner but
no courage found to hoist that
they came to every rap show
i tried to act nicely
it was easier to hide in the corner
reading jack spicer

and then your favorite rapper lets you down one more time.
then your favorite rapper lets you down one more time.
then your favorite rapper lets you down one more time.
then your favorite rapper lets you down.