Tekst piosenki:
Luigi:
Princess Peach
Won't you listen to my speech
I don't have any stars of invincibility
But you're the brightest star in the sky tonight for me
I'm your Luigi
Mario:
What up, Peach, I got a one-up, bitch
What's inside the question block; it's my dick
It's-a-me, a-Mario, I'm more Italian than pastrami
I'll take you by the peaches and give you the hot salami
I save you from dragons and evil Boos that are spooky
Must I be a raccoon to get inside your tanuki
I will mount you like Yoshi and show you things you've never seen
My mushroom's now mega, if you know what I mean
So suck it
Luigi:
Mario, you always do this shit
I like a girl and then you ruin it
By yelling stuff about your dick
Until they go away
Peach:
Hey Luigi, it's okay
That Mario's a bit risque
Just tell me what you need to say
Please don't be afraid
Luigi:
Oh, princess, it means so much for me to hear you say that
The only thing I've ever wanted to tell you is that-goddamn it
Mario:
I'm here to pleasure that ass
I'd like to go first, princess, but I always come last
And you say we'll get together but I'm jacking off alone
Koopa Troopa skeletons are the only dry bone
I am tired of your run-around, it's such a fucking hassle
I go through shit and then you're in another fucking castle
You gotta think about it, well I don't believe the hype
You'll have a lot of time to think when you are smoking on my warp pipe
Peach:
O-M-G, I can't decide
On which of you should be the guy
To take me on your mustache ride
That'll redefine my life
Luigi & Peach:
I'm ready to give love a shot
It's not about how many coins you've got
I just know I like you a lot
Mario: Yo, sluts, check out my yacht (Ugh)
Luigi: Let me take you on a magic kart ride
Mario: I'll bust all your balloons when I smack your backside
Luigi: We'll have such fun, I'll bring my friends along
Mario:
I'll kick that Donkey Kong right in his konkey dong
Come on, Peach, it's time to make your choice
I'm the only plumber that can your boobies rejoice
Green, lanky-ass brother ain't got shit on me
It's time to live out our story, of the princess and the pe-
Nis
Outro:
Mario: So, who's it gonna be, princess?
Peach: I choose... Toad
Mario & Luigi: Toad!?
Peach: Well, his whole body's shaped like a dick
Mario & Luigi: Oh yeah, mmmhm, yeah, definitely, mushrooms look like dicks
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