The Bard's Tale - Nuckelavee

I'll tattle a tale that is terribly true,
started out as a rumor but suddenly grew.
And it deals with a man and a horse and a ring.
So settle on in and our song we shall sing.

It happened one day in a ring by a farm,
something that tragically brought us much harm.
How could a place abundant with charm
create such a beast with a spear for an arm?

On death and destruction is what you will get
when he's coming for you in your kilt you will wet,
and he's big and he's strong and its quite plain to see
that this is the tale of the Nuckelavee.

Nuckelavee, Oh Nuckelavee your big and evil and heinous.
Who could it be who set you free? He really must be an anus.

Oh Nuckelavee its easy to see
the terror you leave is raining on me.
The village is burned and the taverns are missed
and the beer is all gone and the elders are pissed.

And if they ever should find the fool
we'll hang him upside down by his tool,
and spin him around until he gets sick,
Ooh! Aah! Oh that should do the trick,

HEY! Nuckelavee, Oh Nuckelavee the terror you offer is high class.
Who could he be who set you free? He really must be a dumb ass.

Nuckelavee, Oh Nuckelavee the horror you furnish is widespread.
Who could it be who set you free? He really must be an ox head.

Now everyone knows no blood should spill
in the sacred ring by the farm on the hill
and if this ever happens then death you should fear.
He'll kick in your nuts and he'll serve them with beer.

So one final thought before I depart
and this my friend comes straight from the heart.
We'd all be fine if not for that bell
and that horse killing wanker who opened up hell.

Nuckelavee, Oh Nuckelavee we cannot win we must admit.
Who could it be who set you free? He really must be a dim-wit.
Nuckelavee, Oh Nuckelavee are big and evil and heinous.
Who could it be who set you free? He really must be an anus.