The Rumjacks - A Smugglers Song

On the first of January, our Johnnie kissed his Mary,
While Mary squeezed her Johnnies hand they watched the sky explode, By the turn of February our Johnnie missed his Mary,
Oh and Mary sings ‘it breaks my heart to see my Johnnie go,..”

But He’s off tae cairt the hookey,
ask me nowt ye’ll get no lie,
18 wheeler, dodgy dealer, tested, tried & true,
Aw keep yer hameldaeme,
My Johnnie is my treacle pie,
Watch the wall my darlin’ while his rig goes rollin’ through.
Chanel’s number 4 & 6, knock-off watches caps & kicks,
Pocket tazers, folding razors, all manner o’ hell.
Chinese crackers, party poppers, wads o’ bills to fix the coppers, Dodgy fags & Gucci bags, yer pals’d never tell.
Polish vodka, bootleg whisky,
Bathtub gin & slabs o’ Tyskie,
Potions, draps & poisons for t’ give ye back yer glow.
Fun for all the lonely laddies,
Racy mags & plastic ladies,
Creams & gels & magic pills t’ make yer pecker grow.
18 carat plated copper,
Arsenic for yer hubby’s cuppa,
Turkish wigs & wooden legs all hung up in a row,
Screw your tariffs, dues & taxes,
Up the peddlers, hawks & poachers,
God go with ye Johnnie boy and see ye safely home.