Dan Bull - World of Tanks rap

I'm driving a titan without a licence
These mean beasts begin at like five tons
It's a cypher like no other
Tough mudder got you frightened
You're no object
Though you claim you're heavyweight like Tyson
Nah, sure, now let me change your mind
BYE SON, go away
Because i say so, k ho?
And stay in focus
Or you'll face a plague of locusts
Crusading over your terrain 'til you're run over
The rain is soaking us making progress slow as a tortoise
Time to revise on what our training courses taught us
You're in dangerous waters
So call a priest, it's actually urgent
Observe a pattern emerging
And learn the lesson Kaiser Franz Ferdinand didn't learn
I'm a hellcat, a mashup of a panther
And Samuel L Jackson in shaft with a birch gun
I'm the real deal though, not just a nice actor
Typecast to plough up the ground
Like tractors

Tanks are big!
Big are tanks!
Would you like a normal sized car?
No thanks!

I'm a tiger you're a mouse
All up in my grill
So if you don't want to be killed
Then you best get out
I drive a wespe
You ride a vespa
When i tell you to be my valentine
You reply "Yes Sir!"
I bet that you can't even invent a pun for hetzer
Well nor can but i don't care
Cause i am still the best at world of tanks
And it's a fact, i'm absolutely sure, man
Whether you're a yank
Jap, Chinese, frog, russian or german
I'm churchill meets cromwell
With a dash of wolverine
Smash and pulverise you into smithereens jauntily
Chin up, keep a cheery demeanour
Follow the covenant
I am a leopard, you're a cheetah
Without the cunning
I'ma hun a lullaby, put out your lights
You're out of luck, son
You're an alpha prototype
I am the GOTY, uh uh!
I got more ram too
Use it to ram you
You dick, i maxed out my contraption can do
You're stuart little
I'm bigger, i'm better, i'm harder too
You're cruising for a bruising, sport
There's nothing your side can do
My team are bishops
Yours are weedy vicards
I'm a combat cardinal conquering comet
Aw bless, you peed your knickers

Tanks are big!
Big are tanks!
Would you like a normal sized car?
No thanks!