Danisnotonfire - Roast yourself challenge

a month without uploading he comes back with a tag
that no one even tagged him he’s not a challenge to drag
so prepare for an attack and by that i mean cringe
cause this motherfuckers bout to be dragged by his fringe

first things you’re freakishly tall it’s weird you look like a noodle
you’ve got hair that was cool in 2007 and wet you just took like a poodle
throw in a really annoying posh voice and yep that’s dan
you’re what would happen if winnie the pooh fucked slender man

you procrastinate making videos, cause being judged is scary?
you’re so close to being forgotten, the hate’s imaginary
the only reason you get views is you’re another white guy
that people ship with his friend cause they think it’s kawaii

oh
reasons why dan’s a fail (yay!)
i’ll give you some

you never tweet you overeat all you do is cry and sleep
you’re jokes are shitposts and memes with no originality
your family’s sad your flopped your law degree at university
and anything embarrassing that's from your past you just delete

you were vegan for like three weeks then what you missed the meat?
wow i’m so impressed by your clear moral integrity
you try so hard to be peaceful and diplomatic
but can’t make toast without tumblr saying you’re problematic

i could go on there’s more if i check
there’s more things on this list than chins on your neck
on your birthday you joked you were a quarter way to death
100? yeah when getting out of bed makes you out of breath

so your celebrity crush was j-law but now it’s evan p
wtf even is your sexuality
it’s hard to put you in a box when you keep it so blurry
i think it’s just to hide that you’re secretly a furry

*cough*
i’m joking
obviously

okay that went deep
repress it? yup!
before i start crying let’s wrap this shit up

i’m gonna go and masturbate, then cry into a slice of pizza
shout out to the other youtubers especially ryan higa
a cringe compilation mixed with cultural appropriation
met with no depreciation it’s the youtube nation

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so leave a comment with your reaction you can call me a liar
cause you just witnessed the roast danisnotonfire