Disney / Alan Menken - Gaston

GASTON:
Who does she think she is? That girl has tangled with the wrong man! No one says “no” to Gaston!

LEFOU:
Darn right!

GASTON:
Dismissed. Rejected. Publicly humiliated. Why, it’s more than I can bear!

LEFOU:
More beer?

GASTON:
What for? Nothing helps. I’m disgraced.

LEFOU:
Who, you? Never! Gaston, you’ve got to pull yourself together!

Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here’d love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps
There’s no man in town as admired as you
You’re everyone’s favorite guy
Everyone’s awed and inspired by you
And it’s not very hard to see why

No one’s slick as Gaston
No one’s quick as Gaston
No’s neck’s as incredibly
Thick as Gaston
For there’s no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon
You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley
And they’ll tell you whose team
They prefer to be on

LEFOU and TOWNSFOLK:
No one’s been like Gaston
A kingpin like Gaston

LEFOU:
No one’s got a swell cleft
In his chin like Gaston

GASTON:
As a specimen, yes, I’m intimidating

TOWNSFOLK:
My, what a guy, that Gaston!
Give five hurrahs, give twelve hip-hips!

LEFOU:
Gaston is the best
And the rest is all drips!

TOWNSFOLK:
No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston
In a wrestling match
Nobody bites like Gaston

BABETTES:
For there’s no one as burly and brawny

GASTON:
As you see, I’ve got biceps to spare

LEFOU:
Not a bit of him’s scraggly or scrawny

GASTON:
That’s right
And every last inch of me’s
Covered with hair

TOWNSFOLK:
No one hits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston

LEFOU:
In a spitting match
Nobody spits like Gaston

GASTON:
I’m especially good at expectorating. Ptooey!

TOWNSFOLK:
Ten points for Gaston!

GASTON:
When I was a lad
I ate four dozen eggs
Every morning to help me get large
And now that I’m grown
I eat five dozen eggs
So I’m roughly the size of a barge!

TOWNSFOLK:
No one shoots like Gaston
Makes those beauts like Gaston

LEFOU:
Then goes stromping around
Wearing boots like Gaston

GASTON:
I use antlers in all of my decorating

TOWNSFOLK:
Say it again, Who's a man among men?
And then say it once more, who's that hero next door?
Who's a super success? Don't you know? Can't you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on!
There's just one guy in town
Who's got all of it down

LEFOU:
And his name's G-A-S…T…
G-A-S-T-E…
G-A-S-T-O… Ohh…!

ALL:
Gaston!