Groucho Marx - My Family How We Got Our Names

Well, let's get down to cases. How I got started in
showbusiness. I saw an ad in the Morning World, which
doesn't exist anymore - and hardly do I. The ad said "Boy
wanted to sing". I ran all the way from Ninety-third
Street, where I lived then, to Thirty-third Street, and
ran up five flights of stairs and knocked on the door,
and a man came to the door wearing a woman's outfit. Not
entirely, just lipstick. And I realized that that was the
profession, that I wanted into.

I've better start talking about my family first, I guess.
There was quite a group of them.

Can you hear me out there? You're not missing anything.
Luckily I can't hear it either.

Well, I had a family, I had...eh. Harpo played the harp,
that was pretty obvious. Chico was what they used to call
a chicken chaser. In England now they call them birds,
which is the equivalent of a chicken chaser in America
fifty years ago. He did very well with that, too. Zeppo
was born when the Zeppelin arrived at Lakehurst, New
Jersey. He had nothing to do with the arrival. My other
brother Gummo - it's not his real name, his real name
was...eh...was Milton. It seemed like such a silly name,
and we used to call him Gumshoes, because somebody had
given him a pair of rubbers. In a nice way, I mean. And
that's his name: Gummo Marx. My name, of course, I never
did understand.