Happy Days - Slowly and Painfully

Once again....im left alone to rot...
This will never change...
I find myself lost in a world of pain...
I have become beyond depressed...
Beyond anger....
Beyond emotions....
Beyond everything....

Almost to the point of numbness....
Ccreaming myself to sleep each night...
Unable to think straight anymore....
Hating this life more and more...
Wanting it to be over already....
I lost everything i had...
I lost the will to live...
I lost myself in Depression...
I lost my emotions...
They are running wild...
I cannot control myself...
Trying to find a gun....
A razorblade wont work....
Iet me put an end to this..
Once and for all...

Why continue on Contemplating..
Wether to live or die...
Why not just end it already..
Why not just waste this pathetic life..
That was already wasted to begin with..
The gun is ready to kill..

I walk up to the one person who once cared for me...
Who once thought i was important....
Who once said that i was their everything...
Who once told me that i was something special...
But those words seem useless now that she has moved on...
With someone else...

Were they lies?
Or was there actual meaning and pure emotion behind it...
Either way..it doesnt matter anymore...
It is over...
The one person I once had in my arms...
Is now at the bear hands of life....
I point the gun towards my head..
Staring straight into her eyes...
Tears falling down my face...
Bleeding all over...

And with my last breath...
I say to you...
I loved you.....