Johnny Depp - A Little Priest

MRS.LOVETT
That's all well,but what we gonna do about him?
SWEENEY TODD
Later on when it's dark,we'II take it to some secret place and burny him
LOVETT
Oh yeah.Of caurse we could do that.I don't 'spose he's got any relatives gonna come
pokin'round lookin 'for him.

Seems a downright shame...

TODD
Shame?

LOVETT
Seems an awful waste...
Such a nice,plump frame
Wat 's 'is name has...
Had...
Has...
Nor it can 't be traced...
Bus 'ness needs a lift,
Debts to be erased...
Think of it as thnift,
As a gift,
If you grt my drift

Seems an awful waste...
I mean,with the price of meat
What it is,
When you get it,
If you get it...

TODD
Ah!

LOVETT
Good,you got it!

Take,for instance,Mrs.Mooney and her pie shop!
Bus,ness never better using only pussycats and toast!
Now a pussy 's good for maybe six or seven at the most!
And I'm sure they can 't compare as for as taste!

[Simultaneausly]

TODD
Mrs.Lovett,what a charming notion

LOVETT
Well,it does seem a waste...

TODD
Eminently practical
And yet appropricate as always!

LOVETT
Think about it...

TODD
Mrs.Lovett,how I 've lived
Without you all these years,II 'II never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable!

LOVETT
Lots of other gentlemen'II
Soon be comin 'for a shave,
Won 't they?
Think of
All them
Pies!

TODD
How choice!
How
Rone!
For what 's the sound of thw world out there?

LOVETT
What,Mr.Todd?
What.Mr.Todd?
What is that sound?

TODD
Those crunching noises pervading the air!

LOVETT
Yes,Mr.Todd!
Yes,Mr.Todd!
Yes,all around!

TODD
It 's man devouring man,my dear!

BOTH:
And/Then who are we to demy it in here?

TODD
(spoken) These are desperate times,
Mrs.Lovett,and desperate measures are called for!

LOVETT
Here we are,now! Hot out of the oven!

TODD
What is that?

LOVETT:
It 's priest. Have a little priest.

TODD
Is it really good?

LOVETT
Sir,it 's too good,at least!
Then again,they don't commit sins of the flesh,
So it 's pretty fresh.

TODD
Awful lot of fat.

LOVETT
Only wherei it sat.

TODD
Haven 't you got poet,or something like that?

LOVETT
No ,y' see, the trouble with poet is
'Ow do you know it 's deceased?
Try the priest!

Lawyer 's rather nice.

TODD
If it 's for a prince.

LOVETT
Order something else though,to follow,
Since no one should ' swallow it tuice!

TODD
Anything that 's lean?

LOVETT
Well, then,if you 're British and loyal,
You might enjoy Royal Marine!
Anyway,it 's clean.
Though of caurse,it tastes of wherever it 's been!

TODD
Is that squire,on the fire?

LOVETT
Mercy no,sir, look closer
You 'II notice it 's grocer!

TODD
Looks thicker
More like vicor!

LOVETT
No,it has to be grocer-
It 's green!

TODD
The history of the world, my love--

LOVETT
Save a lot of groves,
Do a lot of relatives favors!

TODD
Is those below serving those up above!

LOVETT
Ev 'rybody shaves,
So there should be plenty of flavors!

TODD
How gratifying for once to know

BOTH
That those above will serve those down below!

TODD
What is that?

LOVETT
It 's fop.
Finest in the shop.
And we have some shepherd 's pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top!
And I've just begun--
Here's the politician,so oily
It 's served with a doily,
Have one!

TODD
Put it on a bun.
Well,you never know if it 's going to run!

LOVETT
Try the friar. Fried, it's drier.

TODD
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy!

LOVETT
Then actor
It 's compactar!

TODD
Ah but always arrives overdone!
(spoken) I 'II come again when you have judge onthemem!

(singing) Have charity towards the world,my pet!

LOVETT
Yes,yes,I know, my love!

TODD
We 'II take the customers that we can get!

LOVETT
High-born and low,my love!

TODD
We 'II not discriminate great from snall!
No we 'II serve anyore,
Meaning anyone,

BOTH
And to anyone,
At all!

[Thanks to Amber Burton for lyrics]

[Thanks to Rose,Azzy for correetions]