Survivors of the Siege - Regret

Been thinking of you
As of late.
I'm not sure why,
But perhaps it's just innate.

For me to think of you,
And all you put me through
Of all the things
You'll never get to do

And whether or not
The price paid matches what
Amount was due.

And I know it doesn't matter
If the numbers don't match up.

My hatchet, debts,
They've all been buried,
Forgotten cartilage and rust.

Along with lust, along with trust,
Along with sanity and disgust
But, it would seem,
Along with the one I miss most.

Every night I hear you calling,
The wind carries your name.
Your name, my shame, my blame.

And every night I say I'm sorry
That I'd rewrite our story.
The wind ignores my claim.
But I'm not the same.

No, I'm not the same.
Would I could
I'd show you how I've changed
But what I've done I can't reclaim.

Because you're not here
To make amends.
No, you're not here
To make amends, my friend.

Meanwhile my thoughts
Haunt me and you're still dead.

I see you falling,
I see you falling
Down, my dear.

A horrid vision,
My horrid vision
Fragile as it's clear.

Your tears, they glistened,
You begged, you pleaded,
But I just wouldn't hear.

But now I hear them,
But now I hear them,
Your voice won't disappear.

And all my memories
I've tried to leave behind.
And yet they follow,
And seep into my mind.

I've made my choices
But I cannot understand
How I messed up.
Regret wasn't the plan.

I wear a noose
Around my neck.
With any luck,
It will help me forget.

Its weight brings comfort,
Soothing my lament.
And should it go taut
I've got but one regret.

I see you falling,
I see you falling
Down, my dear.

A horrid vision,
My horrid vision
Fragile as it's clear.

Your tears, they glistened,
You begged, you pleaded,
But I just wouldn't hear.

But now I hear them,
But now I hear them,
Your voice won't disappear.

And all my memories
I've tried to leave behind.
And yet they follow,
And seep into my mind.

I've made my choices
But I cannot understand
How I messed up.
Regret wasn't the plan.