Abandoned by Light - When Hope Became Eclipsed By Death

Gazing sadly through December rain
Seeing my life reflected in the harsh elements
Torn away, blown away and reformed once more
To suffer again
Once in it I saw beauty, beauty in the shimmer
Now I only see death, death of the Summer
That day when hope became eclipsed by death

Nostalgia for the past, days spent in light and warmth
Before they became blurred with night
And darkness was my illumination into depression
Remembering the days when I loved and laughed
Before frost settled in my heart and my soul was blackened
And the sink was stained and the razor bloodied
Where mirrors were uncracked and skin unblemished
Before life was stained with the shit of others
And humanity wasn't so f*cking dull and worthless

Rising up to kill the beast that looms above
Taste the pain of a thousand different cuts
The beast that is the promise of tomorrow
The one that took my hope for a future recovery
And replaced it with the shadow of sadness
The thought placed within my mind to kill yourself
Please kill yourself and end the reign of misery
That cruelly broke your spirit with iron heels
And eclipsed your hope with a sweet promise of death

A noose, a knife, a socket, a gun
All tools on that cold December eve
When the rain reflected my multitude of pains
Why did you allow yourself to live this long?
Under the dark blanket of melancholy
That has lingered so long in my bleakest soul
When I could have ended the pain long ago
So tonight, on this stormy night, when the rain lays
I shall kill myself, and find peace at last
Tonight, death will complete its eclipse of hope
And hope will lay down and die, but it will be glad