Guy Chambers, Amy Wadge & Emilia Clarke - 12 Crimes Of Christmas

These are the twelve crimes of Christmas
Something we don't often talk about
For it really is a rather awful business
And it might be something we can do without
All together now!

One. Those Awful jumpers "auntie" made you!
That's quite tasteful!
Two. Don't get me started on the sprouts!
I like Brussels sprouts!
Three. The jokes in crackers that won't make you laugh!
Four. The constant carols wear me out!
Five. The dreadful pressure of finding the right gift
That someone will return on Boxing Day!
Six. And then there's mistletoe and someone you must kiss
When you'd really rather they would go away
Seven. There's the relatives that you can't stand
So you drink and eat so much that you don't care!
Eight. The mess they leave that only you will have to clean
All the chaos has you pulling out your hair!
Nine. The children that will never go to bed
Cos they are far too stimulated they won't sleep!
Ten. The wrapping up of every present you have bought
It takes forever and it's never really neat
Eleven. There's the tree that drops its needles everywhere
It's like a nightmare that is never going to end!
Twelve. Then there's knowing that however bad it's gets
This time next year we will do it again!

Those were the twelve crimes of Christmas
Everything about them makes me heave!
Yes those were the twelve crimes of Christmas
And there's plenty more that I've got up my sleeve...