Horrible Histories - Alexander the Great

Alexander is my name
Macedonia's most famous
Commander history calls the Great
But I prefer the Greatest
A king aged only 20
When my dad assassinated
Adviser called for calm
But frankly peace is over rated

Crushed rebels in Greek city states
Saw thousands of them martyrs
Made short labour of my neighbours
And that was just for starters

Alexander
Full-time fighter
Made my whole world secure
But that wasn't enough
I wanted more more more

And so began my master plan
To conquer by invasion
Started with dad's enemy
The famous Persian nation
Ruler Darius had far more troops
An inconvenience
But I won then thrashed Egypt
I'm a military genius

Founded Egypt's Alexandria
Named for the greatest man alive
I was now pharaoh and king of Persia
Not bad for 25!

Alexander
Victorious fighter
The Greatest sounds flat
How about the Living God
Yeah, I'll buy that

My loyal followers said that's the stuff
But I, a born warrior, said it's not enough
Let's take India, last man there's a fool
Started wearing Persian clothes, boy, I looked so cool!
But made my troops suspicious
Men called me too ambitious
Said they wouldn't follow me
Guitar solo, Ptolemy!

'Cause of me, Ptolemy, he'll go far
He'll found the dynasty that ends with Cleopatra!
Then there's Hephaestion, my best friend of course!
Unless you count Bucephalus but he's a horse!
Why the long face my friend?

Anyway together it was going grand
Till Heph and Bucy died and my men took a stand
I wanted to continue by my hands were tied
So I sat in my tent and I cried

Alexander
No more a fighter
Adventures had to stop
'Cause 323 BC saw me drop... dead!