Horrible Histories - We're History

Stone Age brought you speech
Farms, the wheel, and fire
Then metal was explored
Which meant we could make swords
To kill and build empires

Think Ancient Egypt was nicer?
Pharaohs' tombs, lovely shrines
But some were living graves
For hundreds of poor slaves
And pig's eye was our cure for the blind

Greek civilisation, our creation
Drama and philosophy
But Sparta praised lying
Celebrated dying
And Hippocrates drank wee

We're history
We brought you bloodshed
Greek excursions to battle the Persians
Disembowelling our dead

Together we made the world
A little bit grim
We're history
Could be fairly dim

We Romans brought you roads
And public medicine
Gladiator fighting
Feeding men to lions
Burning Christians, that kind of thing, you know

Then came the Middle Ages
Saxons, Normans, Vikings, Celts
A time of invasion
Feudalism, famine
Black Death, buboes and welts

1066 saw Harold in a fix
As William conquered all
What was the bettin'
An arrow in his retina
Would lead to his downfall

We're history
We brought invasion and strife
We attacked monasteries
Said "Give us gold, please"
Then we took your life

Our crusades meant slaughter
Wherever we'd go
We're History
Was it pretty? No.

Tudor, Stuart, Georgian monarchs next in line
Brought progress in science and art
Also beheadings, burning, civil war, greed
And colonies, for a start

We're history
We gave you plague and disease
Travelled, found the Incans
Spread smallpox in a blink and
Brought them to their knees

Dogs, cats, and the French
Blamed for plague along the way
We're history
Not such happy days

Victorian technology
Went hand-in-hand with poverty
Kids up chimneys and down mines
Improvements to the world did pick up
Despite some violent hiccups
Two World Wars, millions died

We're history
Our times smelly and gory
We reigned over you
And told you what to do
And that is this story

Thought we were amazing
Though you may quibble
We're history
And we made it horrible
We're history