Me Versus I - How Beautiful the Morning Could Be

that morning I woke up to a pain in my chest
while her dead eyes were still filled with tears
she didn't disappear, it was the latter
while her body laid as still as a stone
and the blade was still in her hand, shaking violently
as if it wanted nothing to do with her death
I tried to wake myself as if I was still dreaming
the lights in the sky were barely blinding
the shouts from the sea were barely silent
I slept to a dying dream, I awake to a living nightmare
the air was cold and so was she
my ribs gave way so I could breath
amongst the sheets were grains of sand
mixed in with blood and blade in hand
and I recall back to my dream
where I had seen her in the light
where the stars had held me back from her
where our voices tore a hole in the sky
and then the whale took her away
to a place where I can't go
and that was when she drew her sword
and cut her wrist real deep and slow
and as she did she broke in tears
and rid herself of a broken life
and everything had become clear
as soon as skin embraced the knife
how can I ever trust you if I can't trust myself?
my head hangs heavy over you
and I'm still triyng to wake you up
I tried to bring out the best in me
but I'll never be enough
these dreams are all I ever see
and you were haunting me in mine
I take the blade out of your hand
and hold you close for one last time
now I know why she never said goodnight
why couldn't you just speak to me?
I could've saved you
I can't believe that this is how it ends
I couldn't save you