Nancy LaMott - All Those Christmas Cliches

I've spent Christmas in Peoria, X-mas in Schenectedy, X-mas in Las Vegas and L.A.
And I always thought it couldn't matter less, But lately, come December, I confess
I want the tree full of toys and tinsel, I want the wreath on the red front door
I want the elves in the yard and each sentimental card dripping glitter on the floor
I want a roof full of plywood reindeer, I want a road full of horse-drawn sleighs
All Those Christmas Cliches

I want the turkey with all the trimmings, the turkey mom hardly ever made
I want the gulp and tear at the moment that I hear Johnny Mathis being played
I want a lake full of perfect skaters, I want that fruit cake with sugar glaze
All Those Christmas Cliches

Not to mention the snow, not to mention the choir, not to mention the candles in the window, and chestnuts roasting on the fire
Inside a house filled with noise and laughter along a street bathed in twinkling light
I want the bells and the drums, mistletoe and sugar plums, and kids to tuck in tight
And as for that guy in the bright red outfit, instead of flying off he stays
All Those Christmas Cliches

I want those overblown, corny, heartwarming, Hallmark Christmas cliches.