Stephen Lynch - Kill A Kitten

When the game of life makes you feel like quittin',
It helps a lot if you kill a kitten
Mark my words, cause from where I'm sittin',
You can't go wrong if you kill a kitten

There's no crime that you'll be commitin'
I know the law, you can kill a kitten
If you need yarn for that scarf you're knittin'
You'll get plenty when you kill a kitten

Feed it turpentine, or break its spine,
Crush it with your shoe, as long as you...
Kill a kitten
(meow) Kill a kitten

If the one you love isn't quite as smitten,
She'll like you better when you kill a kitten
And to quote the bible, cause that's where it's written
"If ye loveth Jesus, ye must kill a kitten"

Flush it down the can, hit it with your van,
Drown it in a lake, bake a kitty cake
Throw it at a train, make it snort cocaine
Stick some TNT up its cat booty
Do what you must do, as long as you...
Kill a kitten (meow)
Kill a kitten

Killing kittens isn't easy,
And if the thought makes you feel queasy,
Grab a pitchfork from the shed,
And kill a puppy dog instead! Yeah!
Kill a kitten, you gotta kill a kitten, a little furry kitten
Kill a kitten (4x)
Kill....