Tim Minchin - Confessions in Three Movements

This first movement is called:
Feminism

I believe that women have the right
To walk the streets at night
And not be afraid for their lives
I believe that a woman has the right
To choose what happens to her body
Without suffering the judgement
Of the conservative right

And I believe that women have the right
to wear the clothes she like
Without being treated like dirt
And I believe we men are pathetic
how we seem to judge aesthetic
As the measure of a woman's worth
I'm ashamed on behalf of my sex
For making women feel like objects

Fuck I love boobs though, I just really love them
Fuck I love boobs though, I just wanna rub them
They're just so jooby, they make me feel groovy
I would rather watch boobs than a movie
Be doop be doo. I just really like boobs.

This second movement is called:
Poverty (altruism)

I believe people are entitled to basic human rights
Whether they are rich or they're poor
I believe a world where no children are starving
Is a world worth fighting for
And I try to remind myself
Even when I'm struggling
How incredibly lucky I am
And I don't think it's ok
That the luxuries I crave
Should come at the expense of my fellow man
I'm sure I could give a little more
To alleviate the suffering of the poor.

Fuck I love boobs though
I just really love them
I don't really mind if I am behind
Below or above them

They're just so jubbly
They make me feel lovely
I'd rather own boobs than a pub
Be doop be doop
I really love boobs

The third movement:
Enviromentalism

I believe the that planet we live in
Is a living organism
And we must treat her carefully
I don't think we can assume
We can just go on consuming
Her resources indefinitely
The world's not a bottomless pit
And we can all do our little bit

Fuck I love boobs though
I just really care for 'em
They're equally fun
When they're 21
Or octogenarian
They're just so flappy
They make me feel happy
I'd rather eat boobs than a bap
Be doop be doo
I just really love boobs

Evolutionary theory says bosoms are buttock-like protrusions
Designed to tempt men in situations
When they can't get a glimpse of your bum
I find such hypotheses dumb
It's like the one that says
Lipstick is for making your lips look more
Like the lips of a happy vagina
Since they said that
I can't look my great aunt
In the eye
Why'd they have to say that, oh why?

From that first little suck of colostrum
To the grope of the the nurse in the old people's hostel
We're just fucking monkeys in shoes
And I
Will always love boobs
I will always love boobs