Tekst piosenki:
Don't wanna be in your club if you'd take me as a member
I'm not even slightly interested in whether I'm remembered I say
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
Gimme a tombstone if you feel you must
Sayin' here lies a clown who wrote some songs
He talked too much and stayed too long
Back home in Perth I played piano down at Café Piazza
Swallowing second-hand smoke and singin' standards by the masters
Learnt that every lyric's sacred
That love's everything
And that three drinks makes you straighten up and four get you swingin'
‘Til my crowd scared the suits away and I'd play my own songs
And then we'd talk too much and stay too long
Moved to Melbourne with my missus after locking her down
Felt like a very little fishy in a very big town
Barely scraping by on corporate gigs and quaint cabaret
Playing keyboards in a cover band until three in the AM
I was never really suited to them top forty songs
‘Cos I talked too much and played too long
Don't wanna be in your club if you'd take me as a member
I'm not even slightly interested in whether I'm remembered I say
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
Gimme a tombstone if you feel you must
Sayin' here lies a clown who wrote some songs
He talked too much and stayed too long
Took my eyeliner to Edinburgh in twenty-oh-five
Played to forty-five paying punters on that opening night
But to my surprise there was a rising demand
For a lovechild of Liberace and Edward Scissorhands
Dude from the paper said that diggin' me was wrong
He said I talked too much and stayed too long
I've played the Albert Hall and Wembley I've played basements and bars
I've been to Hollywood and Broadway met those A-lister stars
I've shared cigarettes with Knights and shot tequila with Dames
Found I'm more interested in laughter than in hotness and fame
So long as you got irony honey we'll get along
We can talk too much and stay way, way too long
Don't wanna be in your club if you'd take me as a member
I'm not even slightly interested in whether I'm remembered I say
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
Gimme a tombstone if you feel you must
Sayin' here lies a clown who wrote some songs
You know he talked too much and stayed too long
I been threatened with death and arrest and with hell
I went hard at a cardinal who was feeling unwell
I've had them dog-whistlin' whiners send their dogs after me
I been a bigot and a faggot I been smug and ugly
I'm a long-haired lefty joker and a smoker of bongs
And I talk too much and stay too long.
But fuck that live fast and die young shit I plan on getting rickety
Baby I intend to stick around ‘til all you pricks is sick of me
And when they come to wash my old man balls and feed me mashed banana
They'll find me in the common room playin' blues on the piano
Same old three chords and cliched fuckin' runs
And I'll talk too much and stay too long
Don't wanna be in your club if you'd take me as a member
I'm not even slightly interested in whether I'm remembered I say
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
Gimme a tombstone baby if you feel you must
Sayin' here lies a clown who wrote some songs
Y'know he talked too much and stayed too long
Another white mother-fucker rambling on
He talked too much and stayed too long
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