Allan Sherman - Hail to Thee Fat Person

I would like to explain how it came to pass that I got fat
Ladies and gentlemen
I got fat as a public service
When I was a child
My mom would say to me "Clean the plate,
Because children are starving in Europe"
And I might point out
That that was years before the Marshall Plan was ever heard of
So I twould clean the plate
Four, five, six times a day
Because somehow I felt that that would keep the children from starving in Europe
But I was wrong
They kept starving
And I got fat

So I would like to say to every one of you
Who is either siknny, or in some other way normal
When you when you walk out on the streetm and you see a fat person
Do not scoff at that fat person
Oh no!
Take off your hat, hold it over your heart, lift your chin up high
And in a proud happy voice say to him
"Hail to thee fat person! You kept us out of war!"