Blixemi - Epic Rap Battles of Warriors - Rainflower vs Spiderleg

RAINFLOWER
Oh StarClan,
Here we go again
Another useless tom, another litter in the den
You didn’t learn nothing from your baby-making momma
And nothing from your leader on this kittypet drama!

I know what they’re saying
I’m Crooked’s evil mother
But at least I had the balls to say I preferred his brother
And speaking of those--whoops! Seems you might be lacking
Was anyone surprised after Daisy sent you packing?


SPIDERLEG
You say I'm packin' huh?
You can bet your tail that's right.
When me an’ Daisy got down, she didn't put up a fight.
At least I disliked my little crotch critters equal
For a mamma to disown one?
Come on! That's evil!

They let you into Starclan? Well isn't that somethin'
But ya couldn't own up, and face your boy,
You're nothin'!
You're a loser, a coward, much less a mother
Get outa here Rainy
Don't you have a kit to smother?

RAINFLOWER
As if I’d take advice from a gangly pile of sticks!
Your stupid warrior name came outta Firestar’s dick
But don’t be offended, I’m not tryna be shrewd
I’m just saying that monster should’ve came for you too

It’s such a relief you don’t mentor like you father
You love that Amber bitch more than you loved your own daughter
That tiny ginger she-cat got you caught in a daze?
Snap out it, pervert, she’s less than half of your age

That’s Rainflower one, Spiderleg none
How does it feel to be the failure out of Fern and Dusty’s spawn?

SPIDERLEG
Ya got some loose words there, lady.
So much damn disrespect.
You do a lot of dirt chuckin’
Despite your case of child neglect.

I’m a grade A mentor,
I’m at the top of my game.
Who are you to call ‘failure’
‘cause you shamed your family’s name.

Step off and get lost, you sad excuse for a mama
Your lack of love did more trouble
Than his fricken chin trauma

Are we done now? I think you’ve learned your lesson.
The fact now that you’re dead and gone is honestly a blessin.