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Attention all sinners! Alastor here!
(And Charlie!)
And we're pleased as punch to tell you about the new Hazbin Hotel!
(Actually, it's the Happy Hot-)
Wonderful! Now listen up!
What would you do if I said there's a place for you?
A place completely free of shame and doubt
What would you do if you could start it all anew?
Well, come to our hotel and you'll find out
You will not want for anything, we'll take it all away
No, actually, we'll give you things 'cause stealing's not okay
Like beds of nails and swarms of bugs
Or cupcakes and a bunch of hugs
We'll make them pay
They'll want to stay
Don't scare them all away
We may not agree on everything as far as we can tell
But we both want this new venture to do well
So, with her passion
And his power
And this rinky-dink hotel
We might just bring some heaven to hell
It's clear to me that you're just looking for control
It's definitely getting out of hand (I agree)
So before we go and tell another tired, tortured soul
I think we need to come up with a plan (good idea!)
We'll ship them in and dress them up and make them look the part
Well, actually, we probably should help them change their heart
By teasing them and baiting them
Or rehabilitating them
Boil them, baste them, slice them up and serve them à la carte
That's horrible!
Don't be such a princess
Go to Hell!
Already there, darling!
We may not agree on everything as far as we can tell
But we both want this new venture to do well
So, with her passion
And his power
And this rinky-dink hotel
We might just bring some heaven to hell
(One more time for the demons in the back!)
With our passion, and our power and this rinky-dink hotel
We might just bring some heaven to hell
Want some hors d'oeuvres?
I'll pass
Yeah!
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