Into the Woods - Your Fault

BAKER (To Jack)
It's because of you there's a Giant in our midst
and my Wife is dead!

JACK
But it isn't my fault,
I was given those beans!
You persuaded me to trade away
My cow for beans!
And without those beans
There'd have been no stalk
To get up to the Giants
In the first place!

BAKER
Wait a minute, magic beans
For a cow so old
That you had to tell
A lie to sell
It, which you told!
Were they worthless beans?
Were they oversold?
Oh, and tell us who
Persuaded you
To steal that gold.

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD (To Jack)
See, it's your fault.

JACK
No!

BAKER
So it's you fault...

JACK
No!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
Yes, it is!

JACK
It's not!

BAKER
It's true.

JACK
Wait a minute-
But I only stole the gold
To get my
Cow back from you!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD (To Baker)
So it's your fault!

JACK
Yes!

BAKER
No, it isn't!
I'd have kept those beans,
But our house was cursed.
She made us get the cow to get
The curse reversed!

WITCH
It's you father's fault
That the curse got placed
And the place got cursed
In the first place!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
Oh.
Then it's his fault!

WITCH
So.

CINDERELLA
It was his fault...

JACK
No.

BAKER
Yes, it is,
It's his.

CINDERELLA
I guess...

JACK
Wait a minute, though-
I chopped down the beanstalk-
Right? That's clear.
But without any beanstalk,
Then what's queer
Is how did the second Giant get down here
In the first place?

Second place...

CINDERELLA
Yes!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
How?

BAKER
Hmmm...

JACK
Well,
Who had the other bean?

BAKER
The other bean?

CINDERELLA
The other bean?

JACK (To Baker)
You pocketed the other bean.

BAKER
I didn't!
Yes I did.

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
So it's your-!

BAKER
No, it isn't,
'Cause I gave it to my Wife!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
So it's her-!

BAKER
No, it isn't!

CINDERELLA
Then whose is it?

BAKER (To Cinderella)
Wait a minute!
She exchanged that bean
To ontain your shoe,
So the one who knows what happened
To that bean is you!

CINDERELLA
You mean that old bean-
That your Wife-? Oh, dear-
But I nvere knew,
And so I threw-
Well, don't look here!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
So it's your fault!

CINDERELLA
But-

JACK
See, it's her fault-

CINDERELLA
But-

JACK
And it isn't mine at all!

BAKER (To Cinderella)
But what?

CINDERELLA (To Jack)
Well, if you hadn't gone
Back up again-

JACK
We were needy-

CINDERELLA
You were greedy!
Did you need that hen?

JACK
But I got it for my Mother-!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
So it's her fault then!

CINDERELLA
Yes? And what the harp
In the third place?

BAKER
Ther harp- yes!

JACK
She went and dared me to!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
I dared you to?

JACK
You dared me to!
She said t hat I was scared-

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
Me?

JACK
To.
She dared me!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
No, I didn't!

BAKER, CINDERELLA, JACK
So it's your fault!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
Wait a minute-!

CINDERELLA
If you hadn't dared him to-

BAKER (To Jack)
And you had left the harp alone,
We wouldn't b ein trouble
In the first place!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD (To Cinderella)
Well, if you hadn't thrown away the bean
In the first place-!

CINDERELLA
Well, if she hadn't raised them in the first place-!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD (To Cinderella)
It was your fault!

JACK (To Witch)
Yes, if you hadn't raised them in the first place-!

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD & BAKER (To Witch)
Right! It's you raised them in the first place-!

CINDERELLA
You raised the beans in the first place!

JACK
It's you fault!

CINDERELLA, JACK, BAKER, LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
You're responsible!
You're the one to blame!
It's your fault!