442oons - The Premier League Song 2015/16

It's the football countdown!
Who'll be champions?
Who'll be going down?
Here we go now!
The Football countdown!
Who'll be Champions League?
Who'll be Championship?
Here we go now!
The football countdown, countdown, countdown...
Aguerooooo!

Rah££m Lov£s St£rling can kiss my ass...
We're in this together!
Well, at least until Christmas, then it's probably fair well...
This trophy will come back! And your form will as well!
I'm no snake, my agent's to blame...
For moving ground!
We're moving ground...!
Will your legs ever work again?!

It's the football countdown!
Who'll be champions?
Who'll be going down?
Here we go now!
The Football countdown!
Who'll be Champions League?
Who'll be Championship?
Here we go now!
The football countdown, countdown, countdown...
Aguerooooo!

Hello, I'm from Venus!
I'm Petr the Czech!
The title, it will be mine! Thank you, Roman!
Jose's such a penis...
And that's a fact!
Leaking bids for Stones all the time!
Wayne! Be honest, who ate all the pie?
I only had a bite...
Time to take flight!
I'm sure we will all miss him so...
Don't care!

It's the football countdown!
Who'll be champions?
Who'll be going down?
Here we go now!
The Football countdown!
Who'll be Champions League?
Who'll be Championship?
Here we go now!
The football countdown, countdown, countdown...
Aguerooooo!
Yes! Yes! Yes! Ha, ha!
...
- Steve, it's not even raining...
- I know, this isn't for, how you say, rain. It's for when fans start throwing their season tickets. Champions League...
...
- I'm pleased to announce the permanent transfer of Toby Eldersquirrel!
- Too late, Cowman! The squirrel is ours!
- [inaudible shouting] DIY Army!
...
It's true, Shakira turned us down - but that's okay. We've already got a world class performer whose "hips don't lie".
- Aye, my hips don't lie! But I can score from the half-way line!
...
I'd like to introduce our new American owner...
- Where am I? Who am I?
- And our new signing, Mings the Merciless!
...
- Welcome back, Jonjo, my child...
- When do we play Stoke? I will crush those pesky Potters!
...
Number 1: don't choke a player. Number 2: don't tell a fan to f*** off and die. Number 3: don't call a journalist an "ostrich'. Number 4: don't claim that you are flexible enough to put your head in the sand. And number 5: don't let your son go on holiday or official trips to Thailand. I'm ready!
...
- Where are you? Where are you? Oh, there you are! Alex, leave the motivating team-talks to me, dear boy!
- Ah, no! This is a recipe for relegation!
...
- Will scoring be an issue for your players this year?
- Not at all, we've got Helen of Troy Deaney! With a face like that, she'll score every week!
...
We'll do very well this year, you know. We're a really well-run club. We got a salary cap, a cap on foreign players and a really great captain! Sorted!
...
- Okay guys, I've brought in a top coach to work with you...
- What? I'm the best coach in the Premier League!
...
Where is everybody? Tom? Christian?! Fabian?!
...
After a lot of persuasion, my wife let me stay for another year. It just goes to show how much she loves Dick.
[laughter]
Oh, grow up! I was referring to myself in the third person, you idiots!
...
It's the football countdown!
Who'll be champions?
Who'll be going down?
Here we go now!
The Football countdown!
Who'll be Champions League?
Who'll be Championship?
Here we go now!
The football countdown, countdown, countdown...
Aguerooooo...!